Reminiscence

I miss school so much. I miss the place where I had learnt to read and to pen down my thoughts.... only it was so much more to me that it cannot be put into words. It was the place I discovered that I could write.... and the place that encouraged me to do so.

I had to be back home really early.... around 8-9 I think. I could't imagine midnight strolls. Or night outs. (I still think that they are highly overrated.) I love the fact that I can do these things now. Even then, what would I not give to spend a single more day in that school with all the people present there like nothing had changed.... yes even the ones I hated... how wonderful it would be! Let that remain a rhetorical question. Perhaps, now, if actually given a choice I would choose a more lucrative option, which would in turn leave me a lot less happier.

I remember so many first times.

I remember my transition in the seventh standard from a quiet little good girl to someone who doesn't shut up. I owe it all to my best friend in school. And of course under her influence, I remember the first time I had to stand in the morning assembly holding my ears. This used to be an honour conferred on those few who had succeeded in pissing off the class monitors the most that week. It had indeed been a proud moment! It had signaled the birth of a new me.... who wanted to talk and talk and talk about everything on her mind.

I remember having close friends who I thought would stay... but they didn't or perhaps I didn't... it could't have been just them... But I guess I don't even give enough credit to the few who stayed by throughout.

I remember being made a prefect in school. How easy it had been at that age to fill me with pride and to give me a sense of achievement! I always seemed to have found reasons to be happy and feel fulfilled. We always get sadder as we grow older, don't we?

And do I remember home cooked meals! Yes I do! Never appreciated it much while I had it.... but now.... every time I go home, I seem to come back 5 Kgs fatter! I love home cooked meals- they are the most wonderful things in the whole world!

I remember a birthday party in school, when my friends had brought a whole cake for me! I still maintain that it had been the most awesome birthday surprise ever! I remember feeling like the most popular person around with the best friends ever, who loved me so very much! Yes, that's a lot of superlatives.

I remember that I had wanted to be Head Girl, though I never said so.... and I remember being so disappointed when I wasn't chosen. Small things mattered then. Or maybe, it's just that what is small now, wasn't small then. Our perspectives change... and so we keep telling ourselves how we used to be much better off, when probably we have been the same all along.

I remember my first shy furtive glances at a guy.... followed by the immediate feelings of over-consciousness on being discovered.... then getting over it and trying again.... and of course getting caught again. I remember my first date.... and the innocent blunders that made it so perfect. Followed by many other firsts....

I so vividly remember each of our Annual Functions that I used to wait for so eagerly! Sometimes I try to reconstruct our practice sessions in my mind. They used to be a treat! You could miss as many classes as you liked and no teacher would ever say a thing!

I remember the last day of school, when I being one of the unworldly few, could not figure out what everybody was so sad about. I couldn't imagine a life outside the one I had already known, one that didn't consist of the people I met and talked to every day. But as it turns out, everybody was right and I was wrong. I am glad that life isn't the same any more and that it's going to change even more drastically in the next few years. But I cannot help the fond recollections.

I might dedicate a blog to college life some time later, when I am stuck somewhere in a job I don't care the least about with a boss who makes me want to kill myself.